


The Things Inbetween Destiny (we were chaos)

by Falling_into_oblivion



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 13:23:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11105451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falling_into_oblivion/pseuds/Falling_into_oblivion
Summary: 5+1 things Aka, five times Judar kisses Hakuryuu when he's crying, and one time Hakuryuu kisses him when he's not.





	The Things Inbetween Destiny (we were chaos)

**Author's Note:**

> Before we get into this, I just want to say that Hakuryuu does pose a few vaguely suicidal thoughts in this, and if that triggers you in any way, then I suggest you skip the fifth time, or don't read it at all.   
> That is all. Other than that have fun with this little thing I wrote, because I love these characters and the whole premise of 5+1 things, so decided to have a little fun and roll with it.

The first time, it was raining. Hakuryuu remembers that much clearly. It was before the fire (he sorts everything in his mind into before and after, and the before was always a little bit blurrier, harder to remember than the after).

He was running through the gardens looking for shelter, uncaring that the rain was already soaking him but knowing that if he stayed out than Hakuei would get mad, so he had to get inside. He was supposed to be practising his words with their tutor so that he could help her with the books when he was older, but he had gone outside because words were boring and the gardens were vast, and he wanted to explore.

Then it had started raining, so he was hurrying back inside, laughing despite the cold creeping down his back. Until he saw Judar, rushing straight towards him with a bright smile, and he slipped on a patch of grass and fell. In his head, whenever he thought about it, he was still falling when Judar reached him, though in reality he was probably already on the ground, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as he tried to stand and failed, falling back down on his ankle, which twinged with pain.

“My king,” Judar laughs, kneeling down beside him, offering out a hand, “Clumsy.”

“I'm not your king,” even back then he was petulant, though he was smiling through the tears, sniffling lightly, “And I'm not clumsy! You startled me.”

“You're easily startled,” Judar was still teasing him, kneeling down beside him despite the wet grass and the wet everything, shaking back damp hair. “But I don't care. My king is strong, even if he is clumsy.”

“I'm not clumsy!” He still sounds petulant even to his own ears, trying to get up again only to fall back down when the pain in his ankle flares back to life, tone unusually thick as he scrubbed at his cheeks, “And I'm not your king.”

“You're hurt,” he's not smiling now and it's not a question, his questing fingers dancing over his ankle before pulling back, “Do you know what they say heals pain?”

“What?” And Hakuryuu hates the way he played along, hates the way he didn't push those hands away as Judar lent closer, kneeling over him now.

“A kiss.” He laughed once and then, before Hakuryuu could stop him or really comprehend what was happening, Judar had pressed his lips against the corner of his, quickly, only a matter of seconds before he was pulling away. “See, all better now.”

“It still hurts, stupid,” Hakuryuu frowned, blushing as he hit him on the shoulder to try and make him go away, though that only made him laugh harder, forehead coming down to rest against his shoulder. “You didn't make anything better.”

“You're not crying anymore,” he whispers softly, his hair cold and wet against Hakuryuu's neck, “So it kind of worked.”

“Stupid,” he mumbled, even though he was smiling now too, resting his cheek on the top of his head as the rain continued to fall around them, “Kisses don't heal everything.”

 

The second time was after, almost immediately after. The last thing he remembered was the fire, and when he woke up he was still burning, screaming despite the lack of flames around him, the fire burning inside this time, scarring the entire left side of his body.

He was vaguely aware of people surrounding him, working on him, hands pulling and tugging and putting him back together, though it was his insides that were broken, no matter how much he appeared to be burnt on the outside. He tried to tell them that, force the words from his lips in between the screams, but they either didn't understand or they didn't care so eventually he fell silent.

It was after the silence, when the burning died down and instead all he felt was empty, his cheeks wet from silently crying, that he noticed the boy sat at his bedside. Judar was just as quiet as he was, if not more so, as Hakuryuu's breathing still hitched occasionally, the covers shifting as his chest rose and fell, the bandages around his head rustling occasionally as he pulled on them, not used to this half-blindness. Judar didn't make a sound though, not even to breathe, and he didn't fidget.

He could almost forget he was there at all, if it wasn't for his shape in the corner of his eye. Others would come and go, his sister one of the more regular visitors, and his mother one of the least, but Judar was a strange constant. Others would come and try to convince him to leave, people he vaguely recognised from around Kou, people like those who attacked that night, the night of the fire, but he wouldn't move or speak or go with them. He would just sit there, watching me watching him, and he would wait.

He didn't know what he was waiting for anymore than he knew what he himself was doing, but as the emptiness spread within him, as the burning ache settled and the dampness on his cheeks refused to disappear, he began to talk.

His voice was scratchy and rough, from disuse, from the smoke, from so many things, but he could still formulate words despite everything, even if they hardly sounded like words, hanging in the still air around them, stifling. He'd never been all that good at words, but they were all he had left now.

“You're one of them.” He didn't move, didn't blink, didn't do much of anything but watch him as he spoke, his eyes the only expressive part about him, darting about, following his lips as they formulated each sentence. “Why are you here? The organisation... they... why are you here?”

He did move then, stretching his arms up above his head and arching his back like a cat before crawling onto the bed beside him, laying on his side to face him with one hand supporting his head and the other toying at the edge of Hakuryuu's bandages, light as they traced the edge of them, across his chin and his nose and into his hair, matted and filthy though it was.

“Was it really the organisation?” When Judar spoke it was light, and though his voice cracked mid-way through they ignored it, like they ignored everything that hurt too much to think about. “You know the truth, Hakuryuu.”

“No,” he tried to move away from his touch but it was impossible, the pain too much as the emptiness pulled back and he felt again, even though it was bad things. He always felt bad things after the fire, never good. Good was for before the fire, when his brothers were still alive. Good was for when his mother was- “No, it wasn't her.”

He wasn't smiling or laughing when he lent down to kiss him the second time, lips ghosting over the corner of his mouth before he pulled away, rolling off the bed until he was standing, always looking down on him. He wasn't smiling or laughing but his eyes were more alive than last time, burning bright as he traced the edge of Hakuryuu's bandages once more, dancing in the light coming in through the window.

“You were right about kisses not making anything better,” he sighed, pulling away once more before Hakuryuu could even tell him to do it, his fingers coming away damp. He had no right to be kissing him, not then and not ever, not after the fire or before. “They didn't heal you, and they didn't help me. They just made things worse.”

When he tried to sit up, his arms gave out beneath him and he collapsed back onto the bed, groaning from the pain, and Judar didn't laugh like he expected him to. He didn't even give him that customary smirk. “Judar-”

It was the first time he'd ever said his name instead of the oracle, and it sounded strange even to his own ears. Luckily, Judar cut him off before he could get any further, and he wasn't even sure himself how he was going to finish it, so Judar's voice was a welcome reprieve, for once.

“Don't.” A spasm crossed his features then, something almost like pain twisting his lips, but it was gone before he could really identify it. “You were right, and let's just leave it at that.”

Then he left, and maybe it meant more to Hakuryuu than it should have, but he was six years old and tired and he didn't want to think about it anymore.

 

The third time was years later, years after the fire and so far into the after that Hakuryuu had even greater trouble remembering the before. It's before he goes to Sindria, but after he's decided what he's going to ask Sinbad once he gets there, and he's busy packing when Judar wonders in.

“I know you're there,” Hakuryuu speaks without turning around, fingers wrapping around the centre of his polearm. When he turns Judar sees him coming and his borg blocks the swing. He doesn't even flinch as the blade bounces off the golden barrier surrounding his body. “What do you want?”

“So vicious this morning,” he teases, laughing when Hakuryuu drops the polearm, scowling as he crossed his arms across his chest and glared at him. “Packing not going to plan? Murder plans coming up short? Power not as great as it should be?”

“I don't know why I even bother with you,” Hakuryuu's still glaring as he returns to packing, fitting in carefully sealed scrolls among neatly folded clothes, spare blades wrapped in leather tucked in among the half-organised mess.

“You don't, most of the time,” Judar pointed out, sprawling out across his bed as though he belonged there, though he rarely came to his room unless he wanted something. “You just train and avoid your siblings and me, and practice your words.”

“I haven't practised my words since I was six years old,” Hakuryuu crinkles his nose, before realising he had fallen into a trap. That was the game with Judar, these days. Admit anything, and you're giving in to him.

“Maybe that's why you're avoiding everyone,” Judar rolls onto his back, grinning up at him, “Because you're so bad at your words. What happened to helping your sister with the books?”

He didn't grace him with an answer, instead closing his bag, tightening up the straps and doing up the buckles. They had servants for this, maids who would be more than willing to help out an imperial prince, but it felt better to do it himself. Like he was actually achieving something.

In truth, he'd given up on helping Hakuei with the books as soon as their mother admitted to what she had done, and every moment after that all he had wanted was to kill her. Gyokuen. She wasn't his mother any longer, just a person he happened to be related to. Just a person who organised the fire. Just a person who orchestrated the death of two of her sons. He didn't need words to kill her, only strength, so that's what he dedicated himself to gaining.

Everything else was inconsequential. Everything else was a distraction. That, much to Judar's annoyance, included him. He supposed that that was also why Judar had taken to him so much. He always did love a challenge.

“ _Hakuryuu,_ ” Judar whined, kicking the bag off the bed as soon as he was done tightening the last strap, ignoring the glare he received for doing it and instead hooking his leg around the back of Hakuryuu's knees, tugging him forward until he fell on the bed next to him. Hakuryuu may be physically stronger than him, but he never fought back whenever he did something like that. “Stop ignoring me and play. We could go conquer a dungeon.”

“I refuse to stoop so low,” was the only response he got as Hakuryuu rolled away, standing back up to move to the window, where it looked out at the gardens below.

“We could kill the empress.”

“Are you suggesting treason?” Hakuryuu turned back with a raised eyebrow, even though his jaw was clenched and his hands were soon to follow, closing into fists. “I never took you for a traitor.”

“I never took you for a coward,” came the immediate answer, “You think about doing it often enough. Kill the empress, and then what? Become the enemy of the Kou empire, run away, have your siblings hunt you down across the continents...”

“I have one sibling,” he turned away from the window fully, dropping the arched eyebrow and scowling instead, crossing his arms over his chest even though he knew it was a defensive manoeuvre, even though he knew that Judar knew that as well.

“You have several, and yet you won't admit it,” Judar sounded patient, as he always did whenever they had conversations like this. He'd never once seen him lose his temper, at least directed towards him. “You should come conquer a dungeon with me, Hakuryuu.”

“I'm going to Sindria.”

“Then we should kill the empress, kill anyone, I don't care. We should do something, be something. I could make you stronger. I could be your magi,” he sat up, eyes bright, like they were so many years ago, during the nights after the fire. He tilted his head like a puppy, laid his ear against his shoulder as he lent back with his arms outstretched behind his back, supporting his weight. “Why won't you let me, Hakuryuu?”

“You work for them. For the organisation that she leads,” Hakuryuu moved away from the window, sat back on the bed and crossed his legs, ignoring the smirk aimed at him for those actions. “I don't need your type of power, or anything that you offer. I can do this on my own.”

“And that's why you're going to Sindria? So you can do this on your own?” He flipped to his hands and knees, backed Hakuryuu up until he was pressed against the headboard, grinning whilst he did it, “You're a fool, Hakuryuu, but you could still be my King. Stronger than anyone gives you credit for, and far crazier. You're just like me.”

“I'm nothing like you,” he pushed back, hands on his shoulders until Judar was laying on his back and Hakuryuu was hovering over him, the tail ends of his hair piece hanging over his shoulder and tickling Judar's bare collarbones.

“Hakuryuu, are you crying?” He laughed, reaching up to brush away a few of the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, tugging on the ends of his hair before letting his hand drop.  
“I'm crying because I'm angry!” Came the retort as he bit his lower lip, not feeling quite as bold all of a sudden as he sat back on his heels, ignoring the way he was practically straddling Judar, and the way he didn't quite seem to mind that as much as he should do. Why was he crying? Even he didn't know by this point.

Judar followed him up though, pressing kisses to his neck and up past his jaw, running his tongue over Hakuryuu's lower lip until he pushed him away, scrambling away from him and back against the headboard before he fully understood what he was doing himself.

“I thought you said kisses only made things worse,” he hated how he trembled as he said it, pushing his hands through his hair and ignoring how it dislodged the hair piece, how it only made him look messier, more out of place.

“Maybe I'm done trying to make everything better,” he cocked his head to the side again, smirking once more. “Maybe I just want to make things worse.”

“This is why I can't be your king, Judar. You're chaos,” he breathed through his fingers, looked up with shining eyes, cheeks wet once more.

“And you say you're not,” he laughed and laughed and laughed until he was wheezing, clutching at his side and shaking from the force of it. “Hakuryuu, you're a storm just waiting to happen, and when you hit... You think I'm chaos? You haven't seen anything yet.”

 

The fourth time, Hakuryuu really should have expected it. He was following the darkness when he saw him, drenched through from the rain, and they stayed out there whilst he heard what he had to say. They were wet to the skin when Gyokuen came, and he was on the floor and bleeding when she left, panting into folded knees, uncaring of the muddy ground and the dirt that stained him.

When he looked up at Judar, his cheeks were tear stained and red, and when Judar knelt beside him and pressed his lips against them, he didn't pull away. He didn't really want to, instead allowing the kiss that pressed against his lips next, and then again, and then again, until a hand was cradling the back of his neck and he was pressing against him more insistently.

He opened his mouth under the pressure, yielded when he felt Judar's tongue and swallowed back a moan when he felt it rub against his own, reaching up to enclose his hand on a bare shoulder, his other coming up to cradle his cheek softly.

He hadn't expected it, but he should have, just as he should have expected it when Judar breathed, “One day I'm going to kiss you and you aren't going to be crying. You need to fall,” across his cheek, his lips following his words until they reached his ear, “ _Fall_ , Hakuryuu.”

“Into depravity?” He pulled away, but not far enough away to let his hands drop, one still on his shoulder and the other on his cheek, thumb running over the smooth skin there, callouses dragging across.

Judar laughed then, sitting down properly next to him and leaning his shoulder against him, sounding half insane as he murmured, “Do I look depraved?”

Hakuryuu looked at him then. Really looked at him, in a way that he hadn't let himself before. He didn't look morally corrupt, or evil, or any of the things he had heard that those who fall into depravity are. Judar looked like a teenager, like any other teenager who had been through way too much for their age.

He looked dangerous, with the red glint in his eyes and the masses of shaggy black hair, and he looked mean, with the flat stomach and the bared midriff and the taunting smirk. He looked young with the roundness still in his cheeks and the softness in his arms and the smooth skin of his fingertips, no callouses to be found.

He looked... pretty. He wasn't handsome, he didn't look particularly masculine and there was no way that you could call him beautiful, but he was pretty. There was a certain softness to his features that his personality didn't have and even though his expressions were killer, now, with a carefully neutral look and the flash of teeth and tongue as he opened his mouth wide in a yawn, not bothering to cover it with his hand, he looked abnormally pretty, and Hakuryuu hated it.

“You don't look depraved,” he answered the question slowly, furrowing his eyebrows as he lent his head against his shoulder, ignoring the arm that came around him in response as they sat together in the dirt. It didn't matter, he told himself, the rain would wash away his touch soon enough. He didn't care that he was lying, either. It was only to himself, after all. “I'll go with you, to a dungeon.”

“Who said the offer was even on the table?” He laughed, “You've spurned me so many times, my king.”

It was the first time he'd called him his king in a long time, and it didn't make Hakuryuu angry or flustered, like it used to. It didn't make him feel anything. “The offer is always on the table whenever you're concerned, Judar.”

“You're lucky you're my favourite, you know?” He grinned, pulling Hakuryuu's hair back with his fingers, dropping a slow kiss onto his forehead, “Otherwise I would have given up on you a long time ago.”

“No, you wouldn't.” He didn't know where the confidence came from, but he knew it was true. Judar was his one constant, through everything, when even Hakuei had left him. He wasn't ever going to leave, at least not willingly, even if Hakuryuu wanted him to.

“Yeah, you're right,” he laughed again, breathing it across his skin so that he couldn't help but shiver. “My stupid king. I'll take you to a dungeon, though I doubt you'll like what you find there. Belial has been known to be... particularly tricky. I've been saving him for you.”

“I feel so honoured.”  
“You should. He's the strongest dungeon I've ever raised.”

 

The fifth time, Hakuryuu saw it coming. He wasn't even sure why he was crying this time, as he laid on his bed back in his old room, the room that was given to Kouen after. Kouen wasn't there now, and though the room had changed, filled with more books and maps than he'd know what to do with, desks and side units cluttered with paperwork and a bed dressed in red satin and silk sheets.

All he knew, ignoring all the things he knew he didn't know, was that the empty was back, creeping up on him all too fast, and Gyokuen was dead and they had Kou but not the people, not whilst the others were still alive. The empty was back and it was more alluring now than it had been the first time, easier to sink into without the burning to distract him, and without the driving need to do something that had kept him going all these years.

It would be so easy, he thought, tracing his hand up his bare stomach to the centre of his chest and then up, a little bit to the left, pressing down over his heart until it hurt, the wood of his fingertips digging into skin. It would be so easy to keep on pressing down, to get something sharper and press down a little bit more, to give in, to give up, to go away.

“Hakuryuu,” he barely moved when he heard his name called, but he did stop pressing, drifting fingers up to his own throat instead, resting them in the hollow there as he breathed, in, out, deeply so that he could see his chest hollow and fill. “Hakuryuu, stop.”

He felt more than saw Judar's hand pull his fingers away, the weight of him settling on his chest instead, forcing his breathing to calm as he felt fingers entwine with his own, pinning his hands to the pillows above his head. When he opened his eyes he knew what he would see, so he didn't, instead leaning up into the kiss when he felt lips against his.

The fifth time he saw it coming, but he was still as blind-sided as he was during the first, straining up against the hands that held his own down, legs falling open to allow him closer, one coming up to wrap around the back of his knees to keep him there once he was. He could feel Judar even through wooden prosthetics, the advantages that come with having living wood as an arm as he squeezed his fingers, tilted his chin up into the kisses.

“Stop what?” He breathed the words when Judar pulled away, burying his face in his throat instead, tilting his head back against the bed so that he could feel the drag of teeth against the sensitive skin of his neck better.

“Pretending that it's all over now,” he bit down as soon as the last syllable had rolled from his tongue, hard, drawing blood, “We still have a war to win, Hakuryuu, and I'm not going to win it alone. We didn't kill her and capture Kou just to give in now.”

“It's not over?” He did open his eyes then, and when Judar lifted his head his lips were slightly bloody. He lent up and kissed him anyway, until the blood was gone. “What about after the war, Judar?”

“You rule, I wreak havoc, we wreak havoc together. It doesn't matter, Hakuryuu, we'll figure it out as we go along,” he was practically whining, nosing his way along his cheeks and to his lips again, kissing him until it hurt, until he couldn't any longer if he wanted to breathe and live, which he did, reluctantly pulling away. “We win this war and then we wage new ones. We're chaos, Hakuryuu. Her death doesn't change that.”

“I am you and you are me,” Hakuryuu raised his eyebrow, wriggling his fingers in his grip again, shuddering when Judar licked at the wetness on his cheeks, “Your philosophy never did change much over the years.”

“We're the same,” he insisted, panting it hot against him, “You and I. Always the same. Chaos.”

“Chaos,” Hakuryuu was the one to grin this time, pressing down with his foot on the back of his knee until Judar had collapsed fully on top of him, what little clothing he did wear soft against his bare skin, “I never said I didn't like it.”

“I seem to recall you saying multiple times that you hated being compared to me.” It was Judar's time to raise his eyebrow, lips remaining parted slightly even when he was done talking, blowing warm air across his ear just to watch him shiver. “What changed, Hakuryuu?”

“I fell,” he laughed lightly, “We killed her. What didn't change, Judar? We're chaos, and that's all that matters now.”

“I think I'm all right with that.”

 

The next time wasn't really a time at all, or at least not a time that Judar kissed Hakuryuu, and he definitely wasn't crying when it happened. The crying came in the day leading up to it, when he first saw Judar again, taunting Nerva in the fields, though he at least had the dignity to wait until they were alone before breaking down, cursing him for ever leaving him and being weaker than Aladdin.

After that came the learning how to be with each other again, with that they are now. Hakuryuu caught him up with what was going on, with what Aladdin had planned and what Alibaba intended to do and what they did to Arba, as they wondered the half-empty village that Judar was born in, and Judar filled him in on what he was doing there, on why he hadn't come to find him immediately upon coming back through the rift.

It wasn't until night had fallen that they really talked about what they really wanted to, laid together in a creaky, little bed that was barely designed for one person let alone the both of them, but it worked for them, with Judar half sprawled across his chest, their legs tangled together as he combed fingers through loose hair, having undone the tie at the end before they'd settled down.

“Hakuryuu,” Judar whined, softly, fingers sprawled against his stomach, fingernails scratching lightly against the skin there, down where it was soft and still a little fleshy. “I missed you.”

“You're the one who died, stupid,” he laughs but it sounds pathetic even to his own ears, and yet he's all out of tears to give, so that's all he has, “I missed you, too.”

“We were chaos, Hakuryuu. We were so good,” he whined again, a low sound right in the back of his throat, practically turning into a growl towards the end. “And then I was nothing.”

“We still are good,” Hakuryuu nosed his way through his hair, the warm smell of dirt and depravity that never seemed to leave him thick and smoky and hot, addictive in its intensity, “We can still be chaos, Judar, even if it is more contained.”

“I don't want to be an attack dog they just send out when they need, 'Ryuu,” he growled again, nipped at his fingers when they wondered too close. It was strange, hearing that particular nickname fall from his lips, something he hadn't heard since he was barely old enough to walk, but nice, in the way that old, familiar names always were when they came from the right person. Judar was always the right person, he just hadn't noticed it until then. “And I know you don't, either.”

“We don't have to be attack dogs, Judar,” he sighed again, pulling his chin up so that he could see his eyes, red though they were, and shining in the dim light from the candles they'd lit around the room. “Contained chaos doesn't have to be what you're thinking. Rules can make it better.”  
“Rules have always made it worse so far,” he argued, at this point half just for the sake of it, “Look at us. Every time I've kissed you, you've been crying, our stupid unspoken rule, and this is where it got us.”

“Is this so bad?” He rubbed his nose against his just to see him squirm, the action stupidly warm and fuzzy, and in the end it just made both of them laugh, because it was everything that they weren't and more, “We're together, and the good half of the world isn't against us for once. We can be chaos for the bad half, wage this war of ours against destiny and win.”

“Since when have you been the crazy one of us,” Judar laughs even more, looking the happiest he'd ever seen him, a genuine smile fleeting across his features, just curling the corners of his lips.

“Since always,” Hakuryuu laughed as well, “You even said it yourself, once. I'm the crazy one, Judar, and you're the one who follows me anywhere.”

“You followed me in the end. Into the dungeon, into the war,” he reminded him softly.

“Maybe now we don't have to follow each other anyway. Maybe now we can just be.”

“No more maybes,” he sighed, teeth biting into his lower lip in a way that was supposed to make Hakuryuu insane on purpose. It worked.

“No more anything,” Hakuryuu breathes the words out slowly, and then, because he can, he kisses him. Once, twice, again, more. He kisses him gently, three more times. Again, open mouthed this time, dragging their lips across each other, noses bumping against cheeks, skin warm, breathes heavy and soft, cool against warm skin.

He kisses him like it's his first time, and his last, looping fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck, draping arms around his shoulders, a leg around the back of his knees, tilting his chin up and laughing into the kisses, breathy now, and wanting.

He kisses him like it's all he knows how to do, all he's ever wanted to do, soft and dangerous, nipping at his bottom lip when he tried to pull away, pulling him back down only to have him huff a laugh into their kisses once more, all fluttering eyelashes and gentle, so gentle.

He kisses him roughly, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and nipping lightly, and he kisses him softly, soothing with his tongue as he shifts his hips up, rolls them up against him until he moans. He kisses him like it was all he was ever meant to do, and he kisses him like it's the last thing he wants to do, in the end.

Eventually he stops, when he's out of breath and panting, when he feels too hot and his skin feels prickly all over and the smell of arousal is thick in the air. He lays his head back on the pillow, shifts his hips up again idly and lets out a slow whimper when Judar sucks at a spot on his collarbone, always teasing.

“You broke a rule, Hakuryuu,” he was still teasing, hands sliding freely now that the barrage of kisses had stopped. “You kissed me.”

“I said that rules can make it better,” he sighed, “Not that they were everything. Sometimes we don't need rules.”

“Like in this?” He raised an eyebrow, voice lilting at the end, and at the last syllable he twisted his hand just so, in a way that had Hakuryuu squirming against the sheets, fingernails catching as he tightened his grip on his shoulders.

“Always in this,” it took him a while to respond, too busy trying to catch his breath and failing. “Judar-”

“Don't say it.”  
“You have no idea what I was going to say,” he moans, lips parted and breath hitching when he twists his hand again, the other creeping lower, behind.

“I have enough of an idea,” he murmurs, resting his head on the pillow beside Hakuryuu's, “But it doesn't matter now.”

“I missed you,” he whispers it, as though if he said it quietly enough, it wouldn't make it real. He whispers it against his shoulder, muffling the words, but it's still heard, despite everything.  
“If you cry then I'm going to punch you,” Judar growls, but his hands are still at work so it doesn't matter so much, especially when he does that thing with his thumb which makes everything a little blurry, makes everything a little bit better.

It takes him a lot longer to recover after that one enough to reply, but when he does he tries for scathing and comes across breathy, still moaning between words despite trying to swallow them down.“Your punches are weak anyway.

“ _Fuck_ , Hakuryuu.” He thinks that last one has more to do with his own hands than what he said, his fingers creeping under the waistband of his trousers, the other hand pushing them down as he wrapped those fingers around him, gave an experimental tug.  
“Don't swear at me, I'm weepy,” he manages to tease, surprising himself more than Judar, moving with more surety now until they were both panting.

Judar lifts his head, just enough to see, and then he snorts as he drops it back down to the pillow, “You're not even crying.”

“I will if you keep aggravating me,” he warns, but the effect is lost when he shifts his hips up again, closer, feeling more than half out of his mind now.

“You can't threaten me with that.”  
“It's working though, isn't it?” He grinned when he felt Judar move with more urgency, as if trying to shut him up, but it was failing because he was on a mission now, though he didn't mean to get on it.  
When Judar lifted his head this time he kept it up, dropping three quick kisses down over his cheeks and nose before sighing.“You know what, fine. You've annoyed me enough into saying it, I love you too, stupid.”

“I wasn't even going to say that.”

“' _Ryuu,_ ” it was a warning, but he was close so he didn't care, laughing as he sought out his lips, kissing him long and deep and warm, until it didn't matter where they were or how creaky the bed was or how inexperienced they both were at this.

“I love you too, Judar, for what it's worth.”

Words didn't matter at all after that, and neither did rules. They were chaos in this, and against destiny. That was all that mattered.


End file.
